First, let's try to define "spirituality" and "spiritual development" to make sure that we talk the same language.
To me, "spiritual developement" is equivalent to "intellectual development" or "development of the abilities of the MIND" - in contrast to the physical body.
Development of the MIND is accomplished by increasing our UNDERSTANDING of everything around us, including our everyday life. We need to discipline ourselves to THINK until everything that we perceive MAKES SENSE.
From my own experience, it is very difficult to make wise choices in life, without having at least SOME idea about "The Big Picture" and without defining our personal FINAL GOAL in the Universe. This includes making choices about tools and methods for "spiritual development".
Focus on your FINAL GOAL and every obstacle will become just another lesson... Choose whatever makes sense to YOU. Choosing to become a "good" person who loves others is MUCH better choice than confronting everyone - isn't it? If you are not sure - try other options and see what are their consequences...
Focus on your OWN choices - no matter how strange are choices that other people make...