Welcome back!

When I was young (10), and in a lot of emotional pain, I wanted to be more stupid than I was, as that seemed to help me fit in. Intelligent people often don't have too many friends that can understand them and their ideas I suppose. This pose of average intelligence is something I now regret. Although it made me some friends, I have found life difficult because of it - coming to believe that I really WAS stupid and a no-hoper.

At 17 I started using marijuana and became quite addicted. It certainly helped dull the pain. Now perhaps I am extremely fortunate, but when I was in my early 20's I realised that I needed to learn and develop and not be shy of being my true self anymore and have worked long and hard since learning to love myself again and all those around me including those I don't particularly like. I began to read everything of a self development nature and have evolved considerably from the person I once was.

I have come a long way as they say and am now a valued and functioning member of my community and I enjoy inspiring and giving to those around me.

But there's a glitch - I guess it's my cellular memory but I find letting go of marijuana COMPLETELY quite difficult. I'll go 6 mths and then an urge that I seem unable to resist will hit and I get some. It's annoying and I try hard to prevent it with willpower but it always finds its way back into my life (although for very short periods).

I would like to do the fasting and will get your book (I have no credit card to purchase it with yet) but as that's not possible immediately can you suggest some tips to help me when I am feeling overwhelmed.

Intellectually I know how stupid it is to indulge and I want to stop these little backtracks but that doesn't seem to be enough! I'm sure any reply you make to this letter will help as pretty much everything I've read you say so far is helping.

I'd also just like to let you know that through my experience I have realised how painful life is for so many of our youngsters and I am doing all I can to be an island of support for those whom I know, to help them make healthy choices and enjoy their lives rather than attempting slow self-destruction as I did. According to feedback from both these kids and their parents I am doing an admirable job. I am hoping that by influencing them towards creativity, sharing, self-respect and love they will not feel the urge to indulge in drugs as I did. Hope I haven't damaged my Astral body too much and although it sounds woosy to ask for help in this area when I should be able to just say no - I am asking just the same.

Lisa

Please email your address to the webmaster so that I can send you the book. When you learn to live comfortably without ANY food - you will realize that you are no longer dependant on anything, except air and water.

In the meantime, let me congratulate you the courage to abandon the path of self-destruction and your effort to inspire others to advance themselves.

As you know, making mistakes is an essential part of learning. However, REPEATING mistakes is plain stupidity. Love,

Tom