Unconditional Love?
Tom, what do you think about 'relationships'? I noticed that the more flaws and self-contradictions I notice in prevailing doctrines and lifestyles - the harder it is to find an acceptable partner who can understand, or even accept what I think.
Am I putting 'conditions' to my love when I expect to be understood? Isn't it a recipe for loneliness?
Joseph
You have the Freedom of Choice to choose what you feel and how you direct your feelings.
My current attitude (January 2001) is this: I would rather be alone for the next 100,000 years than choose to be intimately close to someone who doesn't have a DESIRE to understand me.
Note, that the "DESIRE" to understand is actually more attractive to me than any "present" understanding, simply because I evolve and I WILL change my mind many times. I simply do not yet know how much I don't know...
We love our children because we see their POTENTIAL to understand who we are and what we do for them. Isn't it the greatest joy to experience your children getting SMART? Isn't it the greatest joy when they CHOOSE to manifest their love by themselves?
I take example from The Great Intellect. Although it manifested itself in the most spectacular way (the Living Universe), it created many "filters", barriers and "tests" for us (like a life in a physical body) before we can truly get in touch with one another. Although it may desire Love (as anyone intelligent) it WAITS until some of us consciously CHOOSE to love it for WHAT IT IS.
You may call all of the above "conditions". I prefer to see it as The Freedom of Choice, that is necessary for Higher Feelings to exist. After all, Love is an exchange of the highest possible feelings with another Intellect that you CHOOSE by your Free Will.
The better is your choice - the higher the bliss. I am not in a hurry with my choices. Have you ever tried to play your own music to The Great Intellect?
Tom
So what do you think about the 'Unconditional Love'? Does it exist?
Joseph
Is Love possible without mutual acceptance? Is Love possible without some degree of mutual Understanding?
Needless to say, Acceptance and Understanding do not guarantee any loving relationship, but seem ESSENTIAL conditions for Love to develop.
The above proves that there is no such thing as "unconditional love". They are totally empty and misleading words. Anyone who promotes "unconditional" love gives evidence that he/she has absolutely no idea what is Love.
My aim is to Understand the Designer of the Universe. Guess why. Have you seen this article ?
Tom
Tom, You suprise me when you say that there is no such thing as 'undonditional Love'. To love someone by identifying that person as a soul person and not human is unconditional. Identifying that person a a creation of God / Greater Energy you identify and give love to energy. Christ and other masters have taught that we have to love others like ourselves. Do we put conditions to ourselves and then transfer them to others or do we simply love ourselves unconditionally?.....
The only two commands we have to follow is love
1. Our God
2. Our neighbours as ourselves... Is this not unconditional?
Belinda
Of course not. Can you love anyone or anything without ACCEPTING their existence FIRST? Some people call many of their feelings "love" but with a lack of ACCEPTANCE "love" is only an empty, meaningless and grossly misleading word...
Acceptance is therefore a necesary condition for Love to exist. The same can be said about understanding.
Concepts like "unconditional love","holy war" etc. are extremely dangerous, more dangerous in fact that exploding an atomic bomb in your hands.
The danger comes from polluting your mind (with your own acceptance) with totally misleading concept that prevents you from Understanding and Experiencing the most important feeling in the Universe.
Note that I strongly support the idea of "Loving your Enemy". Remember the chapter about "psychic attack p 79"? Only when you ACCEPT people who attack you and only when you Understand their motives - you can develop a meaningful feeling that will have some effect.
People who talk about "unconditional love" typically struggle a lot with their ACCEPTANCE of the Reality of the Universe, not to mention any Understanding of its Purpose. Many such people dismiss any need to understand anything - on the ground of the "power of unconditional love"... Doesn't such an attitude promote the lack of understanding (=ignorance)?
Tom
'Loving your enemy' is always hard to achieve. Just imagine a mother lost her son on a murderer.In this situation, how can the mother love the murder? Are you able to feel love to the murderer if the murderer brutally killed your beloving family members? If I were in such a situation, the best I can do is to feel neutral for the murderer.
cat
Tom, please help me understand this. What then is unconditional love? What is it not?
Intrinzic
"Unconditional love" is a meaningless and dangerously misleading sloganology.
It is extremely dangerous, because it clutters our mind with the belief that no one needs to do anything because love happens without any conditions.
People who use this slogan give evidence that they haven't even BEGUN imagining, experiencing and expressing Love.
Before Love can be experienced we need to UNCLUTTER our minds. If our mind is cluttered with fear, making business, taking revenge, taking advantage of others, fight for survival etc.. - what we feel is NOT Love. We can only feel the LACK of it.
We need to explore our Selves in great detail in order to find out how to "create" and sustain the blisfull feeling called Love. Anyone who has sincerely tried to achieve and sustain the bliss will tell you how difficult it is to do. Before we can even begin feel the bliss, we need to create quite special state in our own mind. We need to maintan the purity of the mind, the purity of intentions and we need to achieve the state of acceptance of Reality (including accepting the Self). These conditions are the most fundamental.
Without a pure mind, pure intentions, acceptance of Reality (acceptance of the Self and others) - we cannot even begin to feel anything resembling Love. Try it out. The proof can ONLY arise in your own mind.
Tom
Tom, I agree with you whole heartedly. You are really able to put into words exactly what I say. I know how it feels but to put it into words is quite another matter. [Belinda]
What REALLY does the term 'unconditional love' mean? Dictionary Meaning of 'unconditional':'Absolute, without qualifying conditions'
So, if a person loves someone 'unconditionally', WHY do people first get to know each other BEFORE the possiblity of love can even arise?
Even after a so-called 'love at first sight' moment, people still get to know each other, over time - this is a learning process. If people LEARN to love, then surely this cannot be called 'unconditional love', where there is no need for this learning.
It seems like promoting 'unconditional love' without knowing the true meaning of the phrase is not different than promoting "absolute" religious beliefs to gain control over people.
I mean, don't priests (or any cult leaders), when promoting their religions/beliefs, enourage 'absolute, without qualifying conditions' attitude, also known as 'unconditional'??? [rafal]
What if we call it 'un-judgemental' love?
Intrinzic
Don't even try to define Love using one word. You just give evidence how much you don't know.
Tom
I'm not really sure what anyone is talking about here. 'unconditional love' to me means seeing flaws in someone, accepting and understanding those flaws, and loving them anyway. It is possible to love and accept someone no matter what they do and even if they don't love you back. this is how I try to be with everyone, even strangers. of course I wouldn't say 'I love you' to a stranger but I try not to hold anything against them. For example, there is a teacher at my school who everyone hates, and I can see why my peers feel that way, but I still like her and accept her for who she is. this is what I think 'unconditional love' is. It is a wonderful way to interact with people and doesn't 'clutter' the mind, in fact, it does the opposite.
If your son is murdered try to see the murderer as a baby who doesn't yet understand how to cope with the world. Reminding yourself that everyone is divine with unlimited potential makes it easier to love them. I guess you could say my definition of 'unconditional love' is similar to 'forgivness'.
Unfortunately, our earthly language leads to confusion and different meanings of words to different people. I know that real love can't be fully expressed with words but we do the best we can to communicate ideas over the internet.
Lena
When you read what you wrote you notice that you agree that accepting someone "as is" is necessary for any higher feelings such as forgiveness and love.
Acceptance is a condition for feeling love isn't it? When you think about experiencing "real love" you will notice that more conditions are required for this blissful feeling to develop. You acknowledged some of them already (acceptance, forgiveness, understanding). Try to consider respect and admiration for example and you may find some other conditions Within.
Is it possible to love anyone without accepting his/her right to exist? My point is that there are many conditions required to create a possibility for real love to emerge. For this reason the concept of "unconditional love" is deeply misleading. It is also dangerous, because it turns people's attention AWAY from thinking about and creating all conditions necessary for love to appear and win in their lives.
Tom
